Getting served with a domestic-violence temporary restraining order (DV TRO) under the Prevention of Domestic Violence Act (PDVA) N.J.S.A. 2C:25-17 is one of the most upsetting, confusing moments a person can face. You may feel blindsided, anxious about your home, your family, your job, and your reputation. As experienced attorneys who handle TROs every day, we understand these very real concerns. We’ve successfully guided hundreds of our clients through these cases and have the knowledge to help you also.
Here’s how we advise you to proceed, immediately.
Step 1: Take the TRO seriously and act quickly
A TRO is a legal order. It may restrict your ability to remain in your home or to contact certain people, including your family members or loved ones. Even if you believe the allegations are false, ignoring the order will make things worse. Courts treat TROs with urgency. The domestic violence statute requires that a hearing be held within 10 days of the filing of a complaint against you. N.J.S.A. 2C:25-29(a).
Step 2: Read the order immediately and comply
When you’re served, your priority is to read the order carefully. Look for:
- Who is protected under the order (spouse, partner, child, etc.).
- What you’re prohibited from doing (contact, going to your home or workplace, access to children, etc.).
- Whether you’re required to vacate and leave a shared residence.
- The date and time of the hearing to determine whether the TRO becomes final.
Once issued, the TRO takes effect upon service to the defendant. After you are served, law enforcement must immediately enter the TRO into the Domestic Violence Central Registry maintained by the New Jersey State Police (N.J.S.A. 2C:25-34).
It is critical that you comply fully with the order. Even a small violation, like sending a text when you’re ordered not to contact someone, can become evidence against you, or worse – a crime. We’ve seen clients unintentionally worsen their position by missing this step.
Step 3: Reach out to a law firm with real experience in New Jersey DV-TRO cases
This is not the time to go to Court alone. You need an experienced attorney who goes to court for these cases every week, who knows the local judges, and who understands how to navigate both the emotional and legal sides of domestic violence matters.
It is important to hire attorneys who have represented countless clients in DV-related hearings throughout New Jersey. An experienced attorney knows what to expect in court, and how to protect you. Sometimes that means negotiating a civil resolution that keeps peace and allows you to move forward without a final restraining order. Other times, it means fighting at trial by cross-examining witnesses, challenging inconsistencies, and presenting a clear defense that shows your side of the story.
Step 4: Protect your home, your kids and your freedom in the meantime
Getting served with a TRO often means immediate upheaval: You may be required to leave your home, surrender firearms, lose access to children or financial accounts. This is personal. You may feel like your life is on hold.
Here are the things you must ask:
- Where will you live until the hearing? If you’re required to vacate the residence, we can help you ask the court for temporary arrangements or challenge that forced removal.
- What will happen with access to children or child custody arrangements?
- What happens to your property, accounts, pets, vehicles?
An attorney helps you stabilize these immediate issues so you can focus on the bigger picture.
Step 5: Consider whether you want to attempt a civil agreement or prepare to fight
In our practice we see two common paths:
Civil agreement / negotiated resolution: Many TRO matters can be resolved outside a full contested hearing with a mutual agreement between the parties. These civil agreements are very specialized and consider the unique personal circumstances of the case. For example, the parties might agree to have no future contact in person or electronically, which may make a lot of sense especially when there are no children or property to keep the parties connected. If there are children involved, the parties may be able to agree to communicate by text only to discuss necessary issues such as speaking with or arranging time with children.
This type of resolution often reduces stress, keeps everyone in more control, and allows both parties to move forward without the uncertainty of a trial.
Trial / contested hearing: Sometimes the allegations are serious, or you strongly dispute them. In those cases, it is necessary to prepare at full trial, gathering evidence, interviewing witnesses, and presenting a strong defense.
Step 6: Prepare for court if you cannot reach an agreement
Preparation is key. Experienced lawyers assess:
- The underlying incident and the credibility of the allegations
- Whether there were police reports, surveillance videos, witnesses, or conflicting accounts
- Whether your rights were respected (for example, was the service proper, was the order valid)
- Your background: any prior incidents, your role in the family/home, your community ties: All of which matter.
Step 7: Stay off social media, avoid contact, and follow instructions
While your TRO is pending, it’s critical to:
- Avoid any contact with the protected person(s) unless your attorney advises otherwise
- Do not post anything on social media about the case
- Keep a written log of your own movements, if possible
- Follow any terms of the order strictly
Violation of the order may turn what was a civil matter into a criminal offense. We have seen this too many times.
Step 8: If the TRO becomes final what happens next?
If the judge believes, by a preponderance of the evidence, that the Defendant committed an act of domestic violence and there is a need to protect the victim from further abuse (Silver v. Silver, 387 N.J. Super. 112 (2006)) the court will issue a Final Restraining Order (FRO). If the court upgrades the temporary order to a Final Restraining Order (FRO), the consequences may be significantly greater. N.J.S.A. 2C:25-29(b) authorizes the court to: 1) Prohibit future contact or communication with the victim; 2) Grant exclusive possession of the residence; 3) Provide temporary custody of children; 4) Order counseling, support, or other relief; 5) Require surrender of firearms under N.J.S.A. 2C:25-21(d)(3). Notwithstanding this, we can often ask the Court to impose realistic conditions that still allow you to live your life in peace.